Unhelpful Answers is satirical and non-threatening. By purchasing any option, you confirm that you, the recipient, are an adult and consent to the correspondence.

We do not support harassment or anonymous bullying, you twat.

Letters are usually posted weekly. Arrival times depend on postal systems, planetary alignment, and your level of karmic debt.

All customer data is processed via Stripe and used solely for fulfillment. No data is sold, stored long-term, or reused. Questions are burned. Metaphorically.

We will never contact you on any social media channel.

If you have questions, the only email we use is [email protected]. I answer by post only.

All sales are final. You are paying for the experience of regret, which is non-refundable by design. If you don't get that you deserve turning into a spilled glass of milk in your next life.

Frequently Unasked Questions

Q: Can I get a refund?

A: No. This is punishment by consent.

Q: Is this serious?

A: Emotionally, no. Legally, yes.

Q: Will my letter arrive?

A: We will post them. If the void swallows it, take that up with your gods.

Q: Can I send one to a friend?

A: No, except if you select the Black Envelope add-on at checkout. (Limited regions only)

If you have the means to send money into the void, to a complete stranger that basically only sends you handwritten offences, by all means, I appreciate donations to keep this project ongoing. Writing this nonsense takes time, paper, and whatever’s left of our self-respect. Buy us a beer or a better envelope.

I forgot to do dynamic pricing for different countries and I basically loose money when sending the stuff anywhere outside europe, so, thank you <3